Monday, April 26, 2010

A Thank You note

This is a continuation to the previous post. I am obliged to give some credits to people around me for the previous post. I know it will be a long one too. That's why I made sure it will be a different post from the previous one.

First and foremost, to my school friends, my sweetest angels of all time. I really don't have words to describe their love towards me. They always remembered me for loving this person too well. I did all the crazy things that people could laugh out now. But still they appreciated and loved my dreams more than I did. I don't think they ever forget the name of the person I loved from then. They used to ask me about her before, when I politely said I don't have touch with her anymore they only gave me that dignified silence. To all of you my sweet buddies, I love you all so much. You all are the best of people I have ever met in my life. For that innocence and for your unconditional love, I bow down before you all.

To Ganapathi Na, he was the second person to know on his own that I got her back in my life. He remembered her too well, he reminded me of our good old days and was more excited about her as soon as I found her. Thank you so much for that moment of excitement and I am glad we shared some nice things that day.

To my family, I better know what a rough time I gave them then. With all the hurting and stuffs which I did quite often then, I drove them mad at times. And suddenly when they noticed that I had lost in touch with her, they kept to themselves. Despite the fact that I have in touch with everyone except this person, they never asked me why for some twelve years! That's quite a number, I believe. I already thanked them but still wanted to include it here for that decency and trust in me.

To Suganthi, thanks a lot for that incredible gesture you showed towards me when I showed that silly note about her in school then. That indeed shows what a sweet person you are.

To Jammuna, No, I could not ask for more in life than your compliment and I promise you that I will strive to give justice to your words forever. Thanks a trillion.

To Jaanu, Well, You can say that, as you have been part of my passion. There is yet another story awaiting here! ;-)

To Amrish, Thank you so much for taking me to that age and making me feel what it would be like being at that time now. I am really shocked at your innocence.

To my little cousin Abi, tears filled my eyes when you said you remembered her whenever you saw the scar but never wanted to talk about it as it might hurt me. Thank you kiddo.

To my Aunt, who always loves to call me as "Princess", after a popular movie released on that particular year. Of all the nick names I have, this one is always special and remains close to my heart.

To someone, who didn't care to be with me anymore, Thanks a lot. And I will better show what you have missed in your life. I promise you that.

And to Rajesh, for being an extremely understanding person in my life.

Last but not least, to Orkut Buyukkokten for developing a wonderful social networking site. Without which, I don't think I would be doing this right now :-)

You never know when love will find you

Sometime back when I was around twelve years old, I joined a new school for my eighth grade in a new place, bit far from my native place. There I met a girl and there was something that attracted me towards her and after sometime I have fallen in love with her like crazy. I loved her so much and I desperately wanted to be with her. Unfortunately, she didn't belong to my section and I loved watching her during our prayer hours, during class breaks, and in the van, which dropped us back and forth from school to home everyday. She was so reserved, calm, controlled, matured, inexpressive, a good tempered, peculiar, unapproachable and for most of the times unpredictable yet lovable. She better knew how much I loved her but somehow she maintained a distance from me. It was a time, when I longed for love and wanted to be loved by someone.

I was only there in that place for an year. I felt terrible on our last day at school. I felt so much pain for leaving her in that place. I sat beside her in the van and only wished, this moment should never come to an end. But in vain, the moment of pain came right in front of me and she need to say goodbye. She just turned and looked at me to say bye, but just by seeing tears flowing down my cheek, she said nothing and went home. I don't know what she felt then, but typing it here even after all these years, I could feel the tears bulging out of my eyes now. From then, we continued as a long distance relationship, we talked over phone often, I wrote her name all over my place and in my things, wrote letters, then her wedding happened early, she switched places and after sometime we lost in track of each other and eventually I lost her...

She gave me so much dreams and it was so wonderful to dream about her. One day when I was in ninth grade I pulled a paper and wrote something in English about her, I should say I scribbled and showed that to my friend. My friend was so sweet, she read it and appreciated me for what I wrote then. I am pretty sure that paper hold nothing other than something silly then. Started from then, I developed this habit of writing about what I have it in my mind. The result of it was when I was in college at the end of the first year, I missed someone so dearly then and wrote about her on the wall of my hostel room before leaving the place. I was told later that few girls in my hostel loved those wordings on the wall and kept coming to my room to have a glimpse of it.

People close to me better know how much I love dreaming. It all started from this person who gave me so much emotions and dreams even at that age. I enjoy my dreams and I even developed a beautiful love story out of it and its nice to hold it for more than a decade.

Very lately, someone appreciated me for being so expressive with people and almost patted me for that quality. I could only smile, because I used to be a terrible person when it came to expression before. It happened with her where I could not able to express my love towards her and the result was I started hurting myself too much. I simply don't understand still why I did all those things at that time. Someone of my nature who scares to death of even an injection shot and can never even stand the scene of any burns or a small blood in the hospital could do such a physical damage, its astonishing. The scar I hold till date is so visible and I have been answering it too often in my life. Only my close ones knew the truth behind it and with others they simply don't deserve the story behind it or at least that's what I believe. Now right here I have the guts and honesty to reveal it to you all about it. Interestingly, the only person who did not seen this scar so far in my life is only her!

Whenever I pass through her place especially the school in which I met her, I feel the stream of tide inside me wanting to see her and meet her once again. The longings are so deep and I often feel so nostalgic of the beautiful time I had spend with her. There was absolutely nothing we shared much at that age as she kept the distance from me. But still those wonderful moments of been with her keeps coming back to me even after all these years and even after my wedding. Its been more than twelve years and I haven't heard or seen her for all these years...

Honestly, I was scared to search her all these years though her thoughts never left me. I was scared that she might have changed over the years. I missed her so much at times. Eventually when I made up my heart to give it a try, I was not lucky. After coming to US I tried in Orkut but that didn't help me either. Last year, just before visiting my native place I tried again and I was unsuccessful again. After some two and half months stay in my native, I came back to US and on the fourth day when I searched in Orkut I saw a profile with her photo! There was this feeling of lump which stuck in my throat and I am sure I felt the ripple effect in my heart. It was such an emotional roller coaster ride I ever had in my life.Then with all my might, I left her several messages wanting to make sure it was her. I was so nervous, impatient and I am sure God must have went crazy for my pleadings on that night for it has to be the first of a kind from me. I didn't sleep that night and with all my prayers I opened my mail box to see that most delighted answer, 'YES'! That moment was simply priceless. I almost felt like I was born again and suddenly the whole world became so beautiful.

Interestingly, it was exactly the time when I was so badly hurt and lost faith with anyone in my life, I simply withered away being friendly with anyone anymore. Alexander Graham Bell once said, 'When one door closes, another door opens'. I not only closed my doors for anyone, I locked myself alone and intentionally lost the keys so that none could reach me or break open my doors not in the name of love. It was the same time like a storm which had no control over humans or our thoughts I found her! Love opened doors yet again, when I least expected it in my life.

She's just the same person in character even after all these years, as always a wonderful daughter, a good wife and a proud mom for two wonderful kids. Now the distance between us is even more terrible and the long distance relationship continues even fonder. If I ever have to complain being in US anytime, then it has to be only for her for being so far from her.

Someone said love is my passion. I believe its true. Only love drives my life. I was denied of it most of the times in my life and I strongly believe you will realize the true value of love only when you are denied of it. The passion for love started from her. She gave me so much emotions even at that age. I recently met a kid of that age and was shocked by her innocence. I don't think no kid at that age shows so much emotion in life. I really wish I have an answer for why I have fallen in love with this person even as a kid.

One of the best compliment I ever received and I will always treasure in my life came from a friend recently who appreciated me for being such a wonderful lover and there can be none like me. I was just taken aback by her kind words. What more can I ask for in life? I have come a long way to hear it. I will strive to give even more to deserve her words. To my friend, who was so sweet to appreciate my love, I would like to show this person sometime, with whom I fell in love and from whom it all started as a passion.

And there are people who criticize me and often feel mad at me for breaking any kind of relationship in my life, I better want to keep it clean here. I was the person who loved this person so passionately then and I was the same person who lost her intentionally once and followed by God's will, I lost her for some twelve years! Well, I don't believe in sticking with a person and hurting each other too much at hard times. If it doesn't works out, try to give some space between each other so that time heals and you almost forget the issue and come back refreshing one another. Trust me, it works. Betrayal is different from what I am talking right here.

To someone who showed what love is, for those beautiful butterflies in my stomach, for such an emotional experience even as a kid, for those wonderful world of dreams with eyes wide open, for the patience I learnt to wait still more for you, for my love for music, for being an expressive person at the moment, for the magical feeling which gets going on and on, for the innocence and unconditional love I learnt, for all the longings and for all the love I have it in me, I owe you so much in life and I love you so much. It all started from you and let it end with you. I heard recently 'The greatest love story ever told is your own!'. Very true. I am so happy that we are destined to be together now and I adore you so much. You mean a world to me.

I am looking forward to meeting her in future after all these years for the first time and if that happens then that would be an ultimate moment in my life. Especially meeting her daughter would be an emotional moment in my life. Please wish me luck. The joy of finding someone long lost is an incredible experience, which cannot be simply described in words but has to be felt inside you. Its an lifetime experience which has to be treasured.

For those of you reading this post, I wish you a lifetime of love on earth and may love find your way. Remember as long as you are truly happy with yourself, no one can tell you how to write your love story. Live your life with lots and lots of love.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

A Feel Good Love Video

Here is a video I edited from my favorite movie, Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa. Now feel the love...


video

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Alchemist

Just done reading this popular book written by a Brazilian author Paulo Coelho. Interesting to know that the book has already celebrated its twentieth anniversary of its publication. The book was first originally written and published in Portuguese in 1988 and later published in English in 1993. Translated in more than fifty languages, it also has a pride of winning the Guinness World Records for the most translated book by a living author. The story is about a young shepherd who travels into the desert on his quest for a dream and the fulfilment of his destiny. A simple yet brilliant story which emphasis mainly on the wisdom of following your heart.

Here are few lines I loved in this book...

Every blessing ignored becomes a curse.

"Maktub" - An Arabic word, meaning" Its written".

When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it.

One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.

Your eyes show the strength of your soul.

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.

When you are loved, you can do anything in creation, there's no need at all to understand what's happening,
because everything happens within you.

When we love, we always strive to become better than we are.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Scoptoma

I came through this word while watching a TV Program which focused mainly on Leonardo da Vinci's most popular painting 'Mona Lisa'. It specifically insisted upon the conspiracy in the painting. The program claimed that Mona Lisa is 'Androgynous' which means melding of both male and female sexuality into one. Scoptoma is a phenomenon where the eyes see what the mind believes. Psychologists use the term Scoptoma to describe the frailty of the human mind to perceive only that which it expects or wants to perceive.

The program highlighted that if we happen to see the painting as a woman, sure it shows like that way. But if we happen to look at it as a man then we will be thrown to some of the hidden truth behind this mysterious painting. This is exactly the Scoptoma effect, the mind sees what it chooses to see. I really like the fact how the program explained this word through this painting, not sure of the secret behind Leonardo's painting though. Sometimes it happens with all of us in life where we blindly look at things with our preconceived mind rather than with an open mind. I felt it interesting to share it in my blog. Hope everyone's wisdom determines the true value of life.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Love Quotes Video

I learned about video editing very lately and I am so happy to add it here in my blog. Check out this video I just created with some wonderful wordings and with an awesome music.....


video

Monday, April 12, 2010

Trip to Tyler,Texas

We traveled to Tyler this weekend, some two hours drive from my place. Had a wonderful time seeing the place especially the 'Caldwell Zoo'. I loved this place so much. I thought it will be just like any other Zoo around this area but to my surprise the Zoo is well maintained and they have some large varieties of different animals. I haven't seen or even heard before about the variety of animals they have it in here. This is a wonderful place to spend with family and friends, especially kids will love it.

The Layout of the Zoo is simply spectacular wherein the wide variety of animals live in a realistic styled habitats. They have a very beautiful landscape especially the 'Chakula Cafe', a covered area with lots of tables to dine in which overlooks the 'East Africa' exhibit. It was very nice and relaxing to watch elephants, giraffes and deers in the exhibit while dinning out in the Cafe. We are very happy that this zoo has exceeded our expectations.

Then we went to 'Tiger creek wildlife refuge' where they have few rescued big cats. The trainee explained us how some of the big cats are rescued from being abused and neglected. Interestingly few of the big cats names are Indian names like Amara, Sultan, Arula, Kumari, Dharma and Amir. When enquired about it, the trainee said that they all belong to Indian Origin.

Had a good time in Tyler.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Mypoints - Bored Money

Hurray! I just got my $100 Macy's gift card from Mypoints.com. Wow! I am so happy to see the card. This is the first gift card I got on my own. Well, I should say I earned by myself. Its so exciting to share it here on my blog.

Mypoints just falls under the category of bored money. When you sign up with the website you will receive some bonus mails and surveys on everyday basis and when you click those mails you will receive some points. Sometimes I earned points by playing few games in their website. I also made few purchases online through their websites and that added up to my existing points. Just by clicking through their bonus mail, taking surveys, playing games, searching through their website toolbar, shopping online, all such things earns you points and you can redeem your points for a gift card whenever you are eligible from their list of merchants. Its only for people who reside in US.

Its kind of bored money. You just spend some few minutes everyday to click through their mails. Not necessarily you have to do it on everyday basis, you can even do that on your leisure time. I have acquired 11,750 points over some ten months period to redeem this $100 Macy's gift card. And its so nice to hold the gift card I just earned. Feels great. :-)

Thank you so much Mypoints.